A young priest was new to the parish and a bit nervous about hearing his first confessions.
So, to prepare, he decided to ask an experienced old nun for advice.
The nun smiled kindly and said, “It’s simple, Father. When someone confesses a sin, just say something comforting like ‘Say three Hail Marys and try not to repeat the sin.’ And if you don’t understand what they’re talking about… just nod wisely.”
Feeling confident, the priest entered the confessional.
The first woman came in and whispered, “Father… I have sinned. I’ve committed adultery.”
The priest panicked slightly, but remembered the nun’s advice.
He nodded wisely and said, “Ah… yes… classic. Say three Hail Marys and… try not to repeat the sin.”
The next person came in and said, “Father, I’ve stolen money.”
The priest nodded again, gaining confidence.
“Say three Hail Marys… and maybe return the money.”
Then a nun came in.
She hesitated and said, “Father… I’ve… fallen in the garden.”
The priest froze.
He hadn’t prepared for this one.
Trying to stay calm, he leaned forward and whispered, “Sister… how many times?”
There was a long silence.
Then suddenly, the curtain flew open and the nun snapped,
“Father, I tripped over a hose, not joined a loyalty program!” 