An 80-year-old man marries a 25-year-old woman. After their wedding night, the old man walks down to the hotel breakfast buffet looking energized, whistling a tune, and remarkably refreshed.
His best man, who is also in his 80s, pulls him aside and whispers, “My god, Arthur! You’re 80 years old. How on earth did you handle a bride that young all night? Weren’t you worried about your heart?”
Arthur smiles and says, “Oh, it was easy. I just treated it like a government contract.“
Confused, the friend asks, “What do you mean?”
Arthur winks and says, “I knew I couldn’t do the work myself, so I subcontracted the labor, stayed on as the consultant, and I still got to keep all the benefits!”