Joke of The Day 
A man escapes from prison after being locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house, looking for money and weapons, and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the husband out of bed and ties him to a chair, then ties the wife to the bed. He gets close to her, but then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband whispers to his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He’s probably been in jail for years and hasn’t seen a woman in a long time. I saw how he was close to you. If he wants anything, just go along with it. We need to stay calm, he could be dangerous. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t being close to me. He was just talking to me. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any lotion. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too!”
